Broken By Brokenness

I have repeatedly been broken by brokenness over the past month.  I have seen brokenness in society and responses made to social issues, political standpoints and national events as well as brokenness in individuals and daily struggles in life.  It can be hard to not let it cut me to the core.

It’s really easy to look at life through my own perspectives and how things impact me.  It’s easy to slip into the mindset of life being about me and my story rather than remembering that my life is really about God and God’s story.  It can be hard not to think of myself as the center of my life.  Responses to issues tend to be from a standpoint of how it impacts me or those around me.  What we are passionate about steers our responses. Really, it comes down to what my desires are in life.

I’ve been looking into some of what God says on desires and passions off and on over the past year.  It seems to be a topic that keeps coming up in my life.  Probably because when life doesn’t follow my own personal plan I always revisit why my plan is different from God’s, even if there isn’t a way to decipher it.    

One of the verses I have repeatedly come back to is one I have known, and somewhat skipped over, most of my life.

                Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

What are your treasures?  They are probably reflected in whatever your passions and desires are.  For some it will be appearance, money, possessions or even love.  Mine fall in the last category of love.  I focus on loving and caring for others a lot.  This could be family, friends, the desire to have my own family or even ministries.  I tend to arrange my life around others, because I enjoy others.  This is not a bad thing in and of itself, but it can be if it is my top treasure in life.  I can take this too far and care for people for the wrong reasons, like what I get out of something.  

What do you put importance on in your life? We all have desires in life that we long to fill.

When looking at what God says about our hearts I often find that it can be counter-cultural.  We hear constantly from society “Follow your heart,” “Go with your heart,” “What’s your heart telling you,” “Trust your heart.”  Our hearts are known for being the central way that we express emotion, “my heart is broken,” or “my heart is full.” And we associate our desires with our heart.

My struggle can be with my own heart.

Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it” or other versions call it “beyond cure” or “desperately wicked.”  So while I sometimes rely on my heart, God says I can’t even know it and it is deceitful.  In Proverbs the heart is referred to in three ways.  We are told to guide it, guard it and that it is foolish to follow it.  It seems that when God mentions the heart he mentions going to it and turning it back to Him.  Not going to it to seek answers.

This thought of our own hearts not being trustworthy may seem rough.  But it makes sense.  When we were originally created our desires were to be for Him.  After the fall occurred we now have sin that influences our desires and heart.  This comes from within us and it can be a constant battle to redirect the heart back to God.

Our desires may not be bad in and of themselves.  It is not bad to care and love for others.  It is not wrong to want money and be financially secure. The danger is when our heart is deceitful and tells us that some of these things are so good that we should base the importance of our lives around them.

When we place our desires above our desire for God, our desires can become an idol. Not an idol that you physically bow down to, but that your heart bows down to.

In Tim Keller’s book Counterfeit God he talks about rather than looking at what your dreams are to identify your idols look at what you have nightmares about.  What are you worried about losing or never having? What is that thing you long for most in life, or if you lost it, you would be depressed or not even want to go forward in life.  These could be good things, like a career, health or friends.  When we place value on these things above God, they become idols.

So what do we do? We know we have desires that long to be filled. We know we can’t trust our hearts, and that they trick us. We know that even though our desires may be for good things, they could be prioritized above God and end up as idols.  

It is hard to not be easily influenced by society.  We continually see political, social justice and other issues handled in a way that is frustrating, no matter what side of the issue we may fall on. Our society is changing so fast that it is hard to not get caught up in a level of panic when we should be turning to God.

After Jesus said that where your heart is there your treasure is he went on in verses 25-33 to say the following:

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

When I think of all the brokenness I see, and how it continues to break me, I have tried to focus on what God has said. God loves me, and it is by his grace that I can continually go to my heart and turn it towards Him.  When I know what is going on in my heart, and how deceitful it can be, then I know how to redirect it.  What happened during the fall was ultimately defeated by Jesus.

Jesus never promised that life would be easy and void of brokenness.  In fact, we are told the contrary many times over.  But with a grounded heart and continuing to look towards Him there can be a peace in the twisted and messed up times.

I’ve been loving the below verse lately.  I like it, because he is not promising desires in the sense of “life will go well” or “you’ll get this thing or person that you’ve always wanted.”  He is promising that if you delight in Him, then your desire will be for Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Him.

              “Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4-6).

*Original post from July 25, 2016