Roots of Peace

I’ve been learning about and experiencing peace in life lately.  I didn’t realize it was still something that God was working with me on.  Sometimes He works with me on things that I don’t know He is working on.  It can be rather quite annoying.

Peace was and will continue to be a hard one for me to grasp.  I can grasp the knowledge part of peace but the application part of it is a little trickier.  I tend to be an ambitious go-getter, administrative/planning type of person who can and will overanalyze everything.  It’s one of my better attributes and a huge asset when channeled correctly with my passions.  When used incorrectly my “controlling” Jekyll and Hyde, planning, anxious diva side can come out.  My friends and I try to keep her locked up.

When I’m faced with situations that I must let play out and can’t fix, it is pure torture.  There is a lot that goes into peace or being at peace with something.  One simply can’t be at peace unless they don’t care about anything.

I was recently in a situation where I continued to pray for peace, but instead God told me to give it up and that He’s got it and will fix or deal with it.  He didn’t need me in this situation but letting go is hard for me.  Letting go feels like giving up and not caring about ripple effects or things that are going wrong and people who hurt.  It felt like not caring about everything I thought I held dear at that time.  I don’t let go that well.

Instead of God just outright giving me peace He reminded me of much more.  I had to first off be reminded of who God is.  This doesn’t mean be reminded of who I am and how I view God but be reminded of who He actually is and how faithful He has been.  It meant being reminded to trust God because of who He is in the scriptures and in my life and not because of what I want Him to do or fix. 

There is a passage in Philippians where Paul addresses a situation where two women were not getting along.  It doesn’t say why they were not getting along but generally in arguments it never matters how it started as they point to much deeper root issues.    

Philippians 4:2-9

² I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to ⁿagree in the Lord. ³ Yes, I ask you also, true companion,² help these women, who have labored³ side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, ^owhose names are in the book of life.

^4 pRejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness⁴ be known to everyone. ^qThe Lord is at hand; ^6 rdo not be anxious about anything, ^sbut in everything by prayer and supplication ^twith thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And ^uthe peace of God, ^vwhich surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹ What you have learned⁵ and ^wreceived and heard and seen ^xin me—practice these things, and ^ythe God of peace will be with you.

These women had a disagreement going on to the point where it was impacting them as well as those in the church.  They were women who had labored side by side in ministry, yet were having issues.  Their disagreement was to the point where Paul included and called it out in his letter and asked others to help these women.  Perhaps it was something as simple as a misunderstanding, or perhaps it was something as big as a need for an intervention, reality tv show style.  It doesn’t matter.  What does matter is how Paul directed them both past themselves and back to God.

He tells them to Rejoice in the Lord always, and says it again for emphasis.  To truly rejoice in the Lord means to really see and understand who God is and to feel great delight in Him.  Rejoicing in the Lord puts all other things in perspective and they could then be reasonable.  This isn’t something that is rooted from themselves but from God.  Their own selves already caused the problem that needed to be addressed to begin with.

Vs 5-6 “……….The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

We can put aside anxious thoughts over uncontrollable things when we know that the Lord is at hand in everything.  There is true peace when we know that the Lord is at hand because we know who He is.  We can in a sense, not care; at least not anxiously care.  We can care lovingly and be at Peace because we have confidence in God no matter the circumstances.  This doesn’t mean God doesn’t want to hear from us even though He is already working in situations.  Paul said to make your requests known to God in everything by prayer and supplication as well as thanksgiving and wrapped up with:          

                    Vs 8-9 “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

I had to do this for a period of two weeks recently.  I literally logged on my phone things that I was thankful for daily as I recognized them.  I had to look for things to be thankful for and was pleasantly surprised to find an overabundance of them.  It allowed me to see all the little things God was still actively at work in.

I may care about everything too much.  I can care lovingly and let go rather than anxiously when I know that God is at hand and have a peace that as Paul describes “will guard our hearts and minds.” 

Peace doesn't mean being in a constant quite place where life isn't messy, but it does mean having a confidence and trust in who God is rather in our own circumstances.

There is always something worthy of praise, even if it is only the breath that we have.  Maybe it’s not even that.  Maybe things sometimes feel so desperate that we praise God for things we know we cannot and will not ever see or understand but can trust that He is faithful in them.  Maybe it is a simple praise for who He is and what He has done outside of ourselves.     

An Honest Prayer

Lord, give me courage.  You go before me and love me even when my testimony turns into the despair of wine and chocolate cookies.  How could I desire anything but You?  Yet here I fall.  Here You hold me.  Here You know me like none other. 

Lord, have mercy, when I only see myself and only see You behind me instead of in front of me.  I try to see You, yet the issue remains in the two words of “I try.”  I have longed for things outside of You and what You have built for me.

I pray I would cherish in my heart everything You have done in my life.  You are Lord even in my heart's turmoil.  When my heart feels crushed You still give me breath.  You overwrite my flaws in Your grace.  Replace my desires with Yours as You continue to remove the eclipse of myself before You to no longer block Your light with myself.


  Psalm 121:3 "He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber."

Photo Cred:  Becky Charlick, August 2017 Eclipse Salem, OR

What's in a Name?

Earlier this summer I stood at the back of a crowded room and had a conversation with someone who told me that my name means “Courageous.”  I’ve heard variations of the meaning of my name before; with most convenience store trinkets ascribing my name as “womanly” or “graceful” in some various form. 

My favorite name meaning for Andrea comes from the reliable source of Urban Dictionary where it says,

              “A gorgeous lady that is one of a kind, the most rare female on the face of the earth; the kind that every guy dreams about.  She is confident, honest, loyal, protective of what she has, strong artistic, beautiful inside and out, excellent lover.  A tower of strength for those she cares for, the rock to her family.  She is a person you can depend on, just don’t go too far in crossing lines with her or those she loves. Or else you better run and get out of her way….because she will come out and get you.”

Thank you, Urban Dictionary, I’ll take it (perhaps without the threatening part of it). 

In the short conversation from earlier this summer I was told my name comes from the Greek word Andros which means “manly,” not in the sense of “masculine” but as brave and more specifically courageous.

I didn’t think much of this conversation in late June, but what followed were two months of situations and moments where I needed to do or say things I never had before.  At random times in these moments I would hear that voice saying, “Your name actually means courageous.”  I would randomly remember that simple conversation at the exact moments I needed to be courageous and to remember that God was in control.  In some ways, remembering my name meant courageous, made me be courageous.

This simple reminder kept me going and reminded me that circumstances didn’t change who I was or more importantly who God was.  It also reminded me of how God sees me.  Not my name, but the names He has given us in Him.

1 Peter 2: 9-10 states:

^“9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. ¹⁰ Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”

How different would we behave if we constantly remembered that we are God’s people?  A people who have received mercy and are His, called into the light.

God has named us as His people.  He doesn’t promise an easy, pain free, non-emotional life as His people but calls us into the light.  Light always exposes things that can be painful and scary to face head on.  It can be tempting to stay in the dark and hide the ugliness sometimes.  But God’s marvelous light comes with peace and a deep understanding of his grace and mercy, and moving forward.

In addition to who we are individually we have been named together as God’s people.  As part of His people we encourage and build each other up, and reach out to others, even when it is tempting to blame.

1 Peter 2:1-5 says:

“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. 2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— 3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.

4 As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, 5 you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

I heard an example of building a wall this past week, where if one brick is removed the wall is weakened. The brick is still a brick when it is alone, but it isn’t a wall and doing what it could be doing best.  The wall can still stand without the brick, but it still has a hole and the wall is weakened.  Both the brick and the wall are worse off.  If we are living stones, built on Christ, then there are times we will need to remember that God called us as His people individually and together. 

Christianity is lived out in community where there are weaknesses and strengths used to pour into each other’s lives.  When we remember who we are as God’s people we can put aside everything to grow with each other and be built up as a spiritual house. 

I had to remember the simplistic conversation of the meaning of my name to be what my name means; and I’ve had to remember who I am as part of a community to continue to be part of it and grow.   

We are weak in many ways, but as God brings our imperfectness into His marvelous light He provides encouragement, strength and growth.  As we understand the mercy and grace God has given us as individuals we can extend it to each other in community. 

Of Stories and Chapters

My life is not just one story, but many stories.  Chapters open and close in devastation or excitement.  There have been times of uncertainty and times of confidence.  Stories of insecurities and successes, of pain and heartache, and friendship and love.  There are moments when my heart and mind scream “Oh, I finally get it!” only to be humbly reminded months or years later that no, no I don’t get it.  Maybe I have the head knowledge but have not had to experience something and having the knowledge and facing it in reality can be two very different things.   

I recently closed out a chapter of my life that was painful but needed.  In that process I felt myself fighting to not become angry or bitter at God for allowing some things to occur or not occur in my life.  I was angry at other people who are also fallible and made hurtful choices and actions.

The thing is though, it will happen again in life.  The pain and hurt in life situations will come and go in various forms.  There will be moments when I will selfishly cry out "Why Me, God? Why Now?" in various forms.  They will continue to drive me to call on God out of anguish for guidance, wisdom and peace.

When crying out to God for peace and understanding in this past chapter in life there were moments when people unknowingly spoke into my life.  There were Bible passages, articles or podcasts that God used to encourage me at the exact moment I needed it. There were times where I was so grateful for a simple text from a friend. There were also times where I felt silence from God.  Times where I failed miserably by trying to do it on my own and couldn’t see past myself.  People can be the least lovable when they need love the most.  I loved a friend at their darkest and struggled to not lose myself in that. God provided people to spur me on and love me for me and encourage me.  

The truth is, that it’s never been about me or my story.  It’s God’s story and what He is doing in and through my life.  There are moments when I know this but I lose site of resting in all the amazing things God is doing in my life presently and hope for a different future.  A future based on what I assume would be better, even though it could be devastating if realized.

In these situations, it is easy to assume that God is testing my faith.  It’s not true though.  God knows my faith already and instead is reminding me of how deep His faithfulness is no matter the situation. 

Psalms 23 has been a passage that I have known my entire life.  It’s been one I have taken for granted and just known the words of but never cared much for if I am honest.  I get it.  We’re stupid sheep and God takes care of us.

During the last month, I read the book “A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23” by W. Phillip Keller who was born in East Africa and was among other things…. wait for it…a shepherd.  This book had been buried in a pile of books for the past months when I found it in my purse while stuck on a long bus ride spurring me to read it at probably just the time I needed to in life.

 

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
3     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever. 

It would be impossible to summarize everything I got out of the book but there were some great takeaways.  The first verse alone demands that we consider what type of Shepherd is the Lord and what is His character?  Do we think He is the type that would abandon us to fend for ourselves or the type that genuinely wants what is best for us even when it feels painful or we can’t see the other side of it? There was quite a price paid for us and He loves in ways that we will never understand. 

I learned a lot about sheep, like the fact that they will not lie down unless they are free from friction with other sheep, free from flies and parasites and free from hunger.  “He makes me lie down in green pastures” isn’t just Him forcing us to lazily lounge in fields.  They are all aspects of life that when we trust Him with them we can be at rest.

I also learned that sheep are creatures of habit.  They will follow the same path until it becomes a rut and graze the same field until it is a desert.  They will pollute their own ground until it is corrupt.  A good shepherd will be aware of this and move the sheep even when they don’t want to be prodded on.  “He leads me in paths of righteousness” by once again showing His character in moving us to what is better in Him.

Sheep are also led to higher ground during the spring to new pastures.  During this time, the sheep are commonly alone with the shepherds.  They go through valleys to reach the higher ground and in these valleys, are some of the best untouched grasses.  It can be dangerous but is also one of the quickest and gentlest ways to move sheep to the higher ground.

 

 

In the last verse David says, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”  Sheep, when they have a good shepherd who knows what is best for them, leave behind flourishing meadows and are beneficial to the prosperity of the land.  Which begs the question of, as Christians, when we follow and trust in God in the ups and downs in life, are we leaving behind love, goodness and mercy to others because of our relationship with God?

That brings me back to where I am at now.  I didn’t close out my last chapter in life in a way that left behind the amount love and mercy I would have liked it to.  I know that my life is ultimately God’s story and am hopeful that as I continue to grow in Him that each chapter and story does leave behind love and mercy whether it is a devastating or joyful chapter, or maybe a little of both.   

God continues to show me who He is in the Psalms this month.  In Psalm 46 He reminded me to stop trying to wrestle and fix things on my own and to in some situations just be still and know that He is God.  It is more peaceful to be still and just know that He is God, my shepherd, and to continue to call on Him for wisdom, guidance and peace during both the difficult and good chapters. 

So when I am a restless, creature of bad habit, self-destructive sheep I can still trust that God is doing something in my life with His ultimate story for me.